Celebrating small wins in parenting teenagers is an intentional choice for writer Kristina Wright, one that runs directly against the way she was raised. In an essay published by Business Insider, Wright describes how she grew up in a household where recognition was reserved almost entirely for birthdays and Christmas, with academic achievements and traditional milestones treated as expectations rather than accomplishments worth marking.
Now parenting teenagers herself, she has made a deliberate shift in the other direction.
Celebrating Small Wins in Parenting: A Deliberate Departure
Wright, a Virginia-based freelance writer and editor whose work has appeared in Business Insider, Teen for Parents, Charleston Style and Design, and Good, writes that the teenage years present a particular challenge: there is a long stretch of working toward distant milestones, and the smaller victories along the way can vanish almost unnoticed.
Her response is to pause and acknowledge those moments. Straight As, or even As and Bs after a difficult semester. A learner’s permit. An honour society invitation. Surviving a week of midterm exams. Making it through a brutal AP exam. Sticking with something that required persistence.
The celebrations she describes are not elaborate. A Starbucks run on the way home. Dinner out, her son’s choice. A favourite treat after a hard week, or taking on one of his chores so he can rest. ‘The reward itself isn’t the point,’ she writes. ‘It’s the message behind it: I see how hard you’re working, and I’m proud of you.’
A Teacher’s Gift and the Feeling of Being Seen
Wright grounds her approach in her own experience as a teenager. She recalls a moment during her junior year of high school when a favourite English teacher pulled her aside after class, praised an essay she had written, and handed her a well-loved copy of The Portable Dorothy Parker.
‘I floated through the rest of the week,’ she writes. Looking back, she says the impact had nothing to do with the kind words or the book itself: it was about feeling seen. A teacher turned an ordinary school day into a memory Wright has carried for decades.
That experience shapes how she thinks about her role as a parent. Her sons have teachers and other adults who notice their strengths and celebrate their achievements. But Wright argues that parents occupy a specific position: they can reinforce victories at home, immediately, without waiting for awards ceremonies, graduation days, or college acceptance letters.
Celebrating small wins in parenting, she suggests, is partly about perspective. A learner’s permit may seem minor measured against a full driver’s licence, and one AP exam is a single test in a long academic journey. But for a 15- or 16-year-old, those moments carry real weight because they are evidence of growth and perseverance. As she puts it, that is exciting, but also a little frightening, and worth acknowledging on both counts.
Building a Home Where Effort Is Noticed
Wright has written repeatedly about family life for Business Insider, with essays covering her son’s desire to study abroad at 14, a school trip to England during which he was unable to use his phone, her family’s nightly dinner tradition, and the moment her 15-year-old received his first college post. The thread running through those pieces, as in this one, is the texture of daily life with teenagers and the choices parents make about how to show up within it.
In this essay, her central hope is clear. She wants her sons to remember that someone noticed when they worked hard. She hopes they will find teachers, coaches, friends, mentors, and colleagues who cheer them on throughout their lives. But she wants home to be the foundation: a place where effort was acknowledged, not only the final outcome.
‘Our memories have a way of holding on to the hard stuff, and I can’t change that,’ she writes. ‘But I can make sure we’re intentionally creating memories of the good stuff, too.’
If her sons one day remember the Starbucks run after a tough week, the surprise treat after a big test, or hearing ‘your choice tonight’ after reaching a goal that mattered to them, Wright says she will know those small celebrations were never really small at all.
The next such moment is already on its way: a difficult exam, a stressful deadline, or simply another week that required more than it gave. When it arrives, Wright’s instinct will be to mark it.