Most people start a health journey with the same unspoken rule: be perfect or fail trying. It’s a mindset embedded deep within modern diet culture – a belief that progress only “counts” when every day looks flawless. But according to UK health coach Alex Neilan, founder of Sustainable Change, perfection is the very thing holding most people back.
“Perfectionism is the biggest barrier to consistency,” he says. “Women come to me thinking they have to get everything right. In reality, they only need to get things going.”
It’s a message that has resonated across the UK, especially inside the free Sustainable Weight Loss Support Group Neilan hosts on Facebook, now nearing 100,000 members. The group has become a national community for women who want to improve their health without abandoning the rest of their lives – work, family, social events, real schedules, and real pressures.
The trap of the “Perfect Day”
Neilan says the biggest problem isn’t that women can’t stick to a plan. It’s that the plan they’re given requires an ideal day – no stress, plenty of time, zero interruptions, and ironclad motivation – things that almost never exist.
“People blame themselves when life gets messy,” he explains. “But life is messy. Any health plan that doesn’t work on your busiest day won’t survive your real life.”
His coaching framework inside Sustainable Change is built around something much simpler: doing enough, consistently, rather than everything, occasionally. That means choosing the ten-minute walk over the skipped workout, the balanced meal over the perfect one, and the reset that happens today – not next Monday.
Real progress isn’t fragile
What sets Neilan’s approach apart is his insistence that progress shouldn’t collapse the moment life gets difficult. He often works with women who have spent decades stuck in cycles of “start, stop, restart,” believing that any disruption – holidays, stress, children, work – means beginning again from the bottom.
“Health shouldn’t feel fragile,” he says. “If missing one workout or eating off-plan ruins everything, the system was never designed to last.”
This results-focused realism is a defining feature of Neilan’s work at Sustainable Change. It avoids guilt, avoids extremes, and avoids the idea that willpower alone is the answer. Instead, the emphasis is on routine, environment, and behaviour – the quiet forces that shape long-term change.
Why women need a different approach
Although Neilan coaches a broad range of individuals, much of his work focuses on women who feel overlooked by mainstream fitness messaging. Many of them have spent years trying to force themselves into rigid plans that were never built with their responsibilities in mind.
“Women are often told they lack discipline,” he says. “But no one asks whether the plan lacked flexibility. When health advice ignores real-world responsibilities, it sets people up to fail.”
Inside the ever-growing Facebook community, that flexibility has become a defining feature. Members trade ideas that work on ordinary days – slow cookers, short walks, planning ahead, meal rotation, realistic calorie targets – not the elaborate routines promoted by influencers.
The tone is practical, compassionate, and grounded. There’s no demand for perfection, no performative posting, and no competition. Instead, the focus is on doing what’s possible, not what’s impossible.
The psychology behind Sustainable Change
Neilan’s background in Sports and Exercise Science, Nutrition and Dietetics gives him a strong academic foundation, but he frequently says the real secret is behavioural psychology – understanding how people make decisions when they’re tired, stressed, or juggling too much.
“Your life will never line up neatly,” he explains. “But your habits can be designed to withstand that. If something is easy, repeatable and doesn’t rely on motivation, you’ll keep doing it.”
That means removing friction – simplifying meals, scheduling movement in manageable chunks, keeping realistic expectations, and treating setbacks as data, not disasters. Over time, these small adjustments accumulate until progress becomes automatic instead of forced.
A quiet rebellion against diet culture
If there’s a single theme that runs through all of Neilan’s work, it’s this: health should enhance life, not shrink it.
“That’s the turning point for a lot of women,” he says. “When they stop trying to be perfect and start trying to be consistent, everything gets easier.”
It’s why his Sustainable Change programmes are built around everyday habits, not extreme rules – and why the 100,000-member support group continues to grow. Women aren’t looking for punishment; they’re looking for a plan that respects reality.
“What people want is relief,” he says. “Relief from the guilt, relief from the starting over, relief from feeling like they’re always behind. When they realise they don’t need perfection, they finally make progress.”
The takeaway
Neilan’s growing influence comes from offering something the wellness industry often forgets: permission to be human. By removing the pressure to get everything right, he helps women create routines that don’t collapse the moment real life gets in the way.
“Progress doesn’t require perfection,” he says. “It requires persistence. And persistence is only possible when the plan fits your life.”
