The UK’s best job for dairy lovers has a vacancy

A vacancy has arisen for the coolest job in Britain – as an ice cream cone-oisseur.

The odd job is among six weird and wonderful positions which need filling, including director of soft cheese, director of hard cheese and head of butter.

Other potential candidates who are looking to moo-ve jobs could apply for chief yogurt officer and minister for milk.

The successful applicants for the roles, which are being advertised by the Department of Dairy-Related Wholesome Affairs (DDRWA), can expect to receive a generous package including an abundance of dairy-related benefits over a period of three months.

Key requirements for the roles include talking about butter, Instagramming ice cream and pairing cheese with crackers.

Mike Howe, a spokesperson for DDRWA, said: “We are looking for the crème de la crème to join our Department.

“We exist to serve a clear purpose, which is to celebrate the wholesomeness of dairy and the little moments of joy it brings to our lives.

“We look forward to welcoming our new recruits.”

The Minister for Milk will be ‘’a hard-working individual excited about the joy of cow’s milk, whether it’s of the green, red, blue or gold top variety’’, and expected to exert their considerable influence to promote the people’s passion for milk.

The Director of Cheese (Hard) requires a candidate ‘’mature as cheddar or as joyously young as a creamy Lancashire’’, and ‘’committed to raising awareness of the unique qualities hard cheese has to offer’’.

The Director’s mirroring colleague, Director of Cheese (Soft), needs a Brit with ‘’an appreciation for the nuanced challenge of a role that involves educating the public about the joy of soft cheese’’.

They will also educate their constituents in the pleasures of spreading cheese – whether on crackers, toast, or fillings.

The Chief Yogurt Officer will possess ‘’a clear understanding of and passion for yogurt, and will not discriminate between frozen and unfrozen versions of this wholesome food’’.

The Ice Cream Cone-oisseur will know that there is no fun more wholesome than a lick of real dairy ice cream – whether the real thing or a whipped-up imposter.

The Head of Butter will provide ‘’countless opportunities to spread a love of butter across the bread that is Great Britain, and understand intuitively that butter is more than just a cooking and baking ingredient.’’

To be eligible, a passion for dairy is a strict requirement, with successful applicants taking on the role of promoting their selected category.

To apply, candidates need to submit one image that they think celebrates their joy of dairy, along with a paragraph no longer than 200 words, on their dedication to dairy via Instagram, including @deptofdairywholesomeaffairs and the hashtag #TeamDairy in the copy.

The full job descriptions for the Department positions can be found at: https://www.linkedin.com/jobs/cap/view/456781243/?pathWildcard=456781243&trk=mcm

The DDRWA has issued a short video calling for applications that can be seen here: https://vimeo.com/241735190

  • Mat is a writer with an interest in public opinion research. He has a passion for stories covering lifestyle, travel and technology.

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