Common Mistakes People Make During Divorce (and How to Avoid Them)

Divorce is one of the most emotionally and financially challenging experiences a person can go through. With so much at stake—property, finances, parenting arrangements and long-term wellbeing—it’s easy to make decisions driven by stress rather than strategy. While every situation is different, many people tend to fall into the same avoidable traps. Getting the right guidance early, including support from experienced divorce family lawyers, can make the process far smoother and help protect your future.

Below, we explore the most common mistakes people make during divorce—and what you can do instead to stay informed, prepared and in control.

Letting Emotions Drive Major Decisions

Divorce is deeply emotional, but treating it like an emotional battle rather than a practical process often leads to poor outcomes. Decisions around property, parenting and finances should be based on long-term stability and fairness—not short-term frustration or the desire to “win.”

How to avoid it: Take your time, seek professional advice, and focus on what life will look like six months, a year, and five years down the track. A cool head always leads to better outcomes.

Overlooking the Full Financial Picture

A surprising number of people underestimate how complex asset division can be. From superannuation to investments, business interests, debts and future tax implications, there’s often more to the pool than meets the eye.

Common financial mistakes include:

• Forgetting to account for future liabilities
• Ignoring superannuation balances
• Not understanding the long-term financial impact of keeping the family home
• Undervaluing or failing to disclose assets

How to avoid it: Get a full financial disclosure from both parties, engage experts when needed, and understand the true value—and long-term cost—of every asset.

Using Children as Messengers or Negotiators

Even in amicable separations, parents may unintentionally put their children in the middle. Asking children to pass messages, align with a parent, or “choose sides” can create unnecessary emotional strain.

How to avoid it: Keep communication between adults only. Focus on creating a stable, supportive environment for your children and maintain consistent routines wherever possible.

Avoiding Legal Advice Because It Feels Intimidating or Expensive

Some people try to navigate the process alone in an attempt to save money—only to end up spending more later to fix avoidable errors. Legal guidance is essential for understanding rights, responsibilities and realistic outcomes.

How to avoid it: Seek advice early. A consultation with a family law specialist can prevent costly mistakes and help you approach negotiations with clarity.

Rushing Into an Agreement Just to “Get It Over With”

Divorce fatigue is real. After months of paperwork, conversations and emotional pressure, many people agree to terms just so the process ends. Unfortunately, rushed decisions often lead to long-term regret—whether that’s giving up financial entitlements or agreeing to unsustainable parenting arrangements.

How to avoid it: Take the time you need. Ensure every agreement is fair, realistic and documented properly.

Not Considering How Life Will Look After the Divorce

It’s easy to focus only on the immediate situation—who gets the house, how expenses will be shared, or where the children will live right now. But divorce decisions impact future lifestyle, financial health and emotional wellbeing.

How to avoid it: Create a forward-looking plan. Consider:

• Living costs
• Future schooling expenses
• Retirement plans
• Income changes
• Support networks

Think beyond the present moment.

Poor Communication or No Communication at All

Cutting off communication may seem easier, but it usually causes misunderstandings and slows the entire process. On the other hand, overly emotional communication can escalate conflict.

How to avoid it: Aim for clear, respectful and minimal communication. If necessary, use mediated channels, written communication, or legal representation to keep discussions constructive.

Not Getting Court Orders or Agreements Properly Documented

Verbal agreements and casual written arrangements—no matter how friendly—can easily fall apart. Without formal documentation, obligations around parenting, support and finances are not legally enforceable.

How to avoid it: Ensure every agreement is drafted professionally and lodged with the correct authorities. This protects both parties and helps avoid disputes later.

Comparing Your Divorce to Someone Else’s

Every family is unique. Comparing your situation to a friend’s, sibling’s or colleague’s often leads to unrealistic expectations or unnecessary disappointment.

How to avoid it: Treat your divorce as an individual journey. Advice from others can be helpful, but your circumstances—and outcomes—will always be different.

Forgetting to Look After Yourself

The stress of divorce can impact your physical health, mental wellbeing, and decision-making ability. Many people prioritise the logistics and forget to take care of themselves during the process.

How to avoid it: Lean on support. That might be:

• Counselling
• Time with trusted friends
• Mindfulness or physical activity
• Short breaks from negotiations when needed

A clearer mind leads to clearer decisions.

Divorce is never easy, but avoiding these common mistakes can make the process more manageable, less stressful, and far more productive

Surround yourself with the right support—legal, emotional and financial—and approach each step with clarity and patience. If you’re preparing for separation or are already navigating the process, working with experienced professionals can help protect your rights and achieve the best possible outcome for your future.