What to Do When Questioning Your Sexuality

Some people might have a strong idea of their sexual identity throughout their lives, but others might feel confused about their feelings toward the same and opposite sex. If you are unsure if you’re heterosexual, homosexual, or asexual, you might struggle with various overwhelming emotions that may dominate your life and identity.

Coming to terms with your sexuality might not feel easy, but there are actions you can take to speed up the process and build a stronger sense of self. Find out what to do when questioning your sexuality.

Learn About Sexuality Misconceptions

Contrary to popular belief, not everyone is attracted to gender. While 19th-century psychologists, therapists, and other health professionals believed people are attracted to either men or women, sexual orientation is much broader than that.

It is possible to be attracted to more than one gender, which means you may define yourself as bisexual. However, you may feel more attracted to a person than their gender, which means you’re more likely pansexual. Yet, if you find yourself attracted to men or masculinity in general, familiarize yourself with the androsexual meaning, as you can be androsexual if you’re gay or a heterosexual woman.

The more you understand the various sexual orientations, the easier it will be to identify who you are.

Don’t Label Yourself Too Soon

Don’t be quick to label yourself, as it may take time to gain a firm understanding of your orientation. While labels can help build a stronger sense of self, they can cause limitations throughout your life.

If you cling to a label, you might restrict yourself to specific romantic and sexual experiences. While a label might help you discover who you are, you might find another term that suits you better as you grow older.

Explore Your Sexuality

Don’t be afraid to explore your sexuality. If you are single, embrace new experiences to find out who you’re attracted to or identify if you would prefer a romantic relationship without sex. However, be honest with a sexual or non-sexual partner first about where you are in your life right now to prevent heartbreak or confusion.

If you’re in a relationship with the opposite sex when you realize you might be bisexual, homosexual, or another orientation, talk to your partner about your feelings. Exploring your sexuality will improve confidence in your sexual identity and lead to a happier life.

Come Out When the Time is Right

Don’t pressure yourself to come out to others. While it may help affirm your sexuality, you may need time to accept and feel comfortable with the label before sharing it with family, friends, and colleagues. Come out to others about your sexuality when the time feels right for you. Also, it may help to first seek support from:

  • The Trevor Project
  • PFLAG
  • LGBT Foundation
  • The Proud Trust
  • It Gets Better Project

Plus, many LGBTQ+ resources are available to help you learn more about sexuality and find answers to your many questions.

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