American families moving abroad face a consistent fork in the road: years of research that goes nowhere, or a flight booked within months. Lauren McDonnell, who relocated from Atlanta to Utrecht, Netherlands, in 2024 and now runs a relocation coaching business, has watched both types up close, and she says the difference is rarely about money or circumstance.
Why Utrecht, and What Draws Americans There
McDonnell’s destination was not arbitrary. Utrecht is the fourth most populated city in the Netherlands, home to more than 330,000 residents and 170 nationalities, according to the InterNations Utrecht expat guide. Over 22% of its residents are students at four large universities, giving the city a cosmopolitan, internationally minded character that appealed to her family’s priorities.
For McDonnell, the push factor was gun violence in the US. The US Surgeon General declared firearm violence a public health crisis on 25 June 2024, and the Commonwealth Fund places the US at the 93rd percentile of all countries and territories for overall firearm mortality, and at the 96th percentile for women’s firearm mortality. A peer-reviewed study in the American Journal of Medicine found US homicide rates were 7.0 times higher than in other high-income countries, driven by a gun homicide rate 25.2 times higher, based on 2010 data.
McDonnell wanted her children out of active-shooter drills. She also wanted easy access to European travel and a community that reflected diversity in race, ethnicity, religion, and sexual orientation. That clarity of purpose, she argues, is what kept her moving when the process became difficult.
What American Families Moving Abroad Actually Do Differently
McDonnell identifies five behaviours that separate those who make the move from those who keep bookmarking articles.
The first is knowing what you are moving toward, not just what you are leaving behind. Many clients, she says, feel guilty about wanting to leave. The ones who follow through have articulated a specific vision for their new life, not just a list of frustrations with the old one.
The second is vivid mental rehearsal of daily life. McDonnell spent months imagining afternoon bike rides along Utrecht’s canals and morning walks to a local bakery before she ever packed a box. Families stuck in research mode can cite Portuguese visa requirements in detail but cannot describe what a Tuesday morning in Lisbon might look like. The mental picture, even if idealistic, helps test whether a destination is genuinely the right fit.
Third, and perhaps most practically, is committing to a firm move date. Families without a non-negotiable deadline, she has found, are still planning three years after they first decided to go. Those with a fixed date are often unpacking within 12 months. A date forces a shift from consuming information to acting on it: when to list the house, when to book temporary accommodation, when to stop researching and start doing.
Fourth is building a support network early. McDonnell says she started her expat relocation business precisely because she watched families waste six months researching schools online when one conversation with someone who had navigated the process would have given them the same clarity in an hour. Whether that means hiring a relocation coach or engaging an immigration attorney, assembling that team before it is urgently needed saves both time and avoidable costs.
Fifth is moving forward without waiting for certainty. Her own family arrived without fluency in Dutch. Her son struggled at his Dutch-language school for months. She had to ask neighbours to translate tax-related phone calls. Nearly two years on, she says the logistics have sorted themselves out.
For Americans considering the Netherlands specifically, the visa landscape matters. Non-EU citizens require a residence permit. Options include the Highly Skilled Migrant visa, the DAFT (Dutch-American Friendship Treaty) visa for entrepreneurs, and self-employment or orientation-year permits, as outlined by Sirelo’s Netherlands relocation guide. Choosing the right route is typically the first concrete decision a move date forces.
The broader context may be sharpening interest. The US Census Bureau’s Vintage 2025 estimates show that every US state and 90% of the nation’s 3,144 counties recorded a decline in net international migration between 2024 and 2025. The Brookings Institution estimates that US net migration over calendar year 2025 was likely close to zero or even negative, somewhere between –295,000 and –10,000, for the first time in at least half a century. Fewer people are arriving; some are doing the arithmetic on leaving.
McDonnell’s argument is that the families who act are not the ones who finally achieve certainty. They are the ones who choose a date, pick up the phone, and figure out the Dutch tax system once they are already there.